My Potential Causes of Death

  • Cheese
  • Just salt in general
  • The syrups they put in iced coffee
  • Suicidal Ideations
  • Inability to commit to any form of exercise
  • Charcuterie
  • Ignorance
  • No desire to stop bad habits
  • A penchant for depression
  • Champagne overdose
  • Unshakable belief that the couch is always the best place to be
  • A broken heart
  • Coronavirus (And I wish I didn’t have that in the back of my mind, but here we are America. Yes, I was watching Bernie Mac last night. RIP to the god of breaking the 4th wall.)



Look 12, feel 70.

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